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imsoshive:

me: what’s for dinner?

her: *spreads her legs*

me: 

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so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it. 

(via omgbailey)

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things that have no chill

torobabe:

-me

-automatic toilets

-people who clap when the plane lands

(via nigerianqueenofhearts)

Dad spends school year waving at bus, embarrassing son

arlert-armin:

vvntheshort:

iswearimnotadumbblonde:

urethrafranklin:

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I can’t decide if this is the best or the worst dad ever

If a man wakes up every day to put on a costume SOLELY to wave his child off to school, he is a dedicated father and truly one of the best out there, even tho this probably embarrassed the shit out of his kid

im going to be this father

(Source: thighrabanks, via nigerianqueenofhearts)

mlracles:

ottermatopoeia:

mattniskanenseyebrows:

OCTOBER IS NEXT WEEK

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OCTOBER IS THIS WEEK
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OCTOBER IS TOMORROW

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(via wethatrillest)

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I’m just tryna earn a little heart emoji next to my name in ya phone shawty

(Source: texasmothafuckathatswhereistay, via doyourpartandputdown)

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©